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9pm Monday night [Irish] Humour
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ronp
 


Member Since: 29 Nov 2006
Location: SW Scotland
Posts: 14664

United Kingdom 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Corris GreyDiscovery 4
9pm Monday night [Irish] Humour

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's D3 to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says,
'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'


THERE'S MORE....

Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'



IT IS NOT OVER YET...

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads.
First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping,
den Seamus parrotshooting.....
And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'
  
Post #36262120th Oct 2008 9:23 pm
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GLYNNE
 


Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4538

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 Commercial Auto Orkney GreyDiscovery 4

Rolling Eyes Thumbs Up
  
Post #36262420th Oct 2008 9:28 pm
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JMC
 


Member Since: 25 Feb 2006
Location: Aberdeen-Angus. Where the Bull* comes from!
Posts: 6417

Scotland 

Thud


































Wink
 The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom Smile
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
 
 
Post #36262520th Oct 2008 9:28 pm
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flinty99
 


Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558

England 

Thay cannot get any worse tonight .. surely.

Thud Thud Thud
  
Post #36262620th Oct 2008 9:31 pm
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DG
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Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
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Wales 

 19 year veteran > D2 GS 2003 > D3 S 2006 > D3 HSE 2009 > D4 HSE 2013 > D4 HSE 2015 > D5 HSE 2018 > DS HSE R-Dynamic P300e 2021  
Post #36262820th Oct 2008 9:34 pm
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ronp
 


Member Since: 29 Nov 2006
Location: SW Scotland
Posts: 14664

United Kingdom 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Auto Corris GreyDiscovery 4

c'mon guys, give us a break ... is it the way I tell em???
Sad



Laughing Laughing
  
Post #36263120th Oct 2008 9:38 pm
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Wex
 


Member Since: 16 Apr 2007
Location: Knackeragua
Posts: 5173

Ireland 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

Laughing Laughing Ron youre a legend
  
Post #36264220th Oct 2008 10:01 pm
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frogall
 


Member Since: 29 Aug 2008
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 250

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Tonga GreenDiscovery 3

Driving out of Carrick in the D3 the other week, I saw Paddy filling in holes at the side of the road. The holes were spaced every ten feet for about fifty yards, after which I saw Murphy digging a new one.

On my way back later I saw Murphy again having moved on a few hundred yards, still digging holes, so I stopped.

I asked him if he knew that Paddy was filling in the holes about 50 yards further down, to which he replied "Oh yes, we're landscaping for the Council; I dig the holes, Mick puts the trees in and Paddy fills in behind.

"Mick?" I asked.

"Oh, It's his day off" came the reply.
 I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.  
Post #36273421st Oct 2008 12:04 am
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heine
 


Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
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South Africa 2009 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Alaska WhiteDiscovery 3

Better Thumbs Up
  
Post #36278221st Oct 2008 10:40 am
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Wex
 


Member Since: 16 Apr 2007
Location: Knackeragua
Posts: 5173

Ireland 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

Quote:
Driving out of Carrick


Barefaced lie , you live in Norfolk.Pull the other one.


Next
  
Post #36278521st Oct 2008 10:43 am
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bobic
 


Member Since: 02 Mar 2008
Location: Cork
Posts: 133

Ireland 2008 Discovery 3 TDV6 XS Manual Java BlackDiscovery 3

Paddy English man, paddy Irish man, paddy French man and Paddy American man were all aboard a plane flying across the Atlantic ocean. Half way through the journey one of the four engines failed and they where losing altitude. The pilot explained to the 4 men that the plane was now overweight and they were going to crash.

Heroically, paddy French man jumped out of his seat, shouted 'viev le france' and threw himself out the door saving the lives of the paddy English, Irish and American man.

Then with a splutter a second engine failed, once again leaving the plane overweight.

Immediately paddy American man jumped out of his seat, shouted 'remember the Alamo' and threw himself out the door saving paddy English and Irish man.

Then unbelievably the third engine failed and the plane began plummeting from the sky. Without hesitation paddy Irish man jumped out of his seat, shouted 'up the Irish' and threw paddy English man out of the plane. Whistle
  
Post #36289121st Oct 2008 3:31 pm
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flinty99
 


Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558

England 

Now we all know this cannot be true. Shocked

By this time in the flight Paddy Irishman would have downed that many Jameson's and Guinness that there is no way he could have jumped out of his seat.


Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
  
Post #36289421st Oct 2008 3:41 pm
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frogall
 


Member Since: 29 Aug 2008
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 250

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Tonga GreenDiscovery 3

I hear that they are dealing with increased fuel prices in Kerry by making the roads shorter.
 I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.  
Post #36306521st Oct 2008 9:32 pm
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Wex
 


Member Since: 16 Apr 2007
Location: Knackeragua
Posts: 5173

Ireland 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

I hear they're accepting crap joke tradeins against a new sense of humour Thumbs Up




























Wink Thumbs Up
  
Post #36307021st Oct 2008 9:42 pm
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frogall
 


Member Since: 29 Aug 2008
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 250

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Tonga GreenDiscovery 3

oooohh!!! Wink

Tee Hee Whistle
 I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already.  
Post #36309621st Oct 2008 11:31 pm
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