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aircraft techs could have been trained by landrover
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buzz
 


Member Since: 19 May 2006
Location: lancashire
Posts: 585

England 
aircraft techs could have been trained by landrover

read this and note the similarities...........

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college
degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a
"gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of
humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked with an"S")
by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline
that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet
per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

p: Aircraft handles funny.(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and
be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: M ouse in cockpit.
s: Cat installed.


And the best one for last..................



P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Whistle
 Gone.......but not forgotten

06 Zermatt 7 seat auto with PDC and privacy

Club £400 V.E.D. 
 
Post #36192219th Oct 2008 12:20 am
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Hobgoblin
 


Member Since: 15 Nov 2007
Location: As always, in the sh*t, it's only the depth that varies
Posts: 1445

Spain 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 HSE Lux Auto Kaikoura StoneDiscovery 4

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 I'm not as good as I once was........but I'm as good once as I ever was.  
Post #36193619th Oct 2008 1:31 am
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SJR
 


Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030

England 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Auto Arctic FrostDiscovery 3

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Post #36201219th Oct 2008 1:24 pm
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Reggieb
 


Member Since: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Watford, Herts.
Posts: 707

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zambezi SilverDiscovery 3

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Club--Engel
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Club--Kumho KL71 (265/70 17) they kick!
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Disco3Club
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. 
 
Post #36201619th Oct 2008 1:41 pm
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heine
 


Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054

South Africa 2009 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Alaska WhiteDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
  
Post #36207119th Oct 2008 6:26 pm
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ashlr2004
 


Member Since: 27 Aug 2008
Location: Nelson, Lancashire
Posts: 166

United Kingdom 

Rolling with laughter Bow down Rolling with laughter
 If it ain't got 4 wheels, Don't Bother.

 
 
Post #36212419th Oct 2008 7:50 pm
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