character
Member Since: 01 Jan 2008
Location: wiltshire
Posts: 5779
  
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| A bit of Saturday Humour - includes re-defined swear words |
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Dear Employee,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination) . Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much S*H*I*T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of S*H*I*T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough S*H*I*T, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the S*H*I*T you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
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 31st Jan 2009 12:48 pm |
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AVE
D3 Decade
Member Since: 13 Nov 2006
Location: First house on the left
Posts: 3097
 
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  As you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
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| 31st Jan 2009 2:21 pm |
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