Advertise on DISCO3.CO.UK
Forum · Gallery · Wiki · Shop · Sponsors
DISCO3.CO.UK > Off Topic - Humour, Rants & Pointless Posts

Brave Man Jokes
Post Reply  Down to end
Page 1 of 1
Willy Eckerslike
 


Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Commercial XS Auto Firenze RedDiscovery 4
Brave Man Jokes

SSSHHH, make sure SWMBO isn't looking over your shoulder Wink

VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you, and your D3

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

Rolling with laughter
 Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle 
 
Post #4174408th Feb 2009 10:51 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
GLYNNE
 


Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4645

England 

Rolling with laughter Been on before but still good Thumbs Up
  
Post #4174538th Feb 2009 11:13 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Reply with quote
Willy Eckerslike
 


Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612

England 2012 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Commercial XS Auto Firenze RedDiscovery 4

Most everything happens elswhere before it happens in N Yorks.
We're a bit behint the times lad Thumbs Up
 Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle 
 
Post #4174698th Feb 2009 11:48 am
View user's profile Send private message View poster's gallery Post Reply
Display posts from the last:  
Post Reply Back to top
Page 1 of 1
Jump to:  
Previous Topic | Next Topic >


Posting Rules
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum



DISCO3.CO.UK Copyright © 2004-2024 Futuranet Ltd & Martin Lewis
DISCO3.CO.UK RSS Feed - All Forums

DISCO3.CO.UK is independent and not affiliated to Land Rover.
Switch to Mobile Site