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Dares - 1,3 or 5 points! *** Friday Humour ***
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ridgeback_moor
 


Member Since: 11 Mar 2008
Location: Gateway to the Moors
Posts: 1789

United Kingdom 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 4
Dares - 1,3 or 5 points! *** Friday Humour ***

This is doing the rounds at work today, but I've not plucked up courage to do any of them yet!

One-Point Dares
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

Three-Point Dares
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

Five-Point Dares
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two". Rolling with laughter
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness,I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.
15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight". Confused
 Previously:
2005 D3 2.7 TDV6 S
1984 90 2.25 Petrol CSW
1992 90 200TDi Hard Top
1995 Discovery ES 300TDi
2003 90 TD5 Truck Cab

 
 
Post #3539033rd Oct 2008 9:09 am
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chumble spuz
 


Member Since: 22 Nov 2006
Location: A35, 31, 30 or M27
Posts: 266

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

I'm going to put this on navystar and send to all users!
 'Ner Ner' Bonatti HSE... Ah yes, a vintage colour!
Registered on the 22nd Mar 06; Rare good luck!!
 
 
Post #3539063rd Oct 2008 9:24 am
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ridgeback_moor
 


Member Since: 11 Mar 2008
Location: Gateway to the Moors
Posts: 1789

United Kingdom 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 4

Do it! Will keep the fleet happy, even if you do end up 'over the wall'! Just blame me - they can't get me now Wink
 Previously:
2005 D3 2.7 TDV6 S
1984 90 2.25 Petrol CSW
1992 90 200TDi Hard Top
1995 Discovery ES 300TDi
2003 90 TD5 Truck Cab

 
 
Post #3539093rd Oct 2008 9:26 am
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chumble spuz
 


Member Since: 22 Nov 2006
Location: A35, 31, 30 or M27
Posts: 266

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Bonatti GreyDiscovery 3

Just to qualify.... I'll wait until some numpty leaves an account logged on then send it Whistle
 'Ner Ner' Bonatti HSE... Ah yes, a vintage colour!
Registered on the 22nd Mar 06; Rare good luck!!
 
 
Post #3539113rd Oct 2008 9:28 am
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ridgeback_moor
 


Member Since: 11 Mar 2008
Location: Gateway to the Moors
Posts: 1789

United Kingdom 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 4

And remember to sign it off from Cdr Harry Blackmaskers Wink
 Previously:
2005 D3 2.7 TDV6 S
1984 90 2.25 Petrol CSW
1992 90 200TDi Hard Top
1995 Discovery ES 300TDi
2003 90 TD5 Truck Cab

 
 
Post #3539133rd Oct 2008 9:39 am
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stapldm
 


Member Since: 11 Sep 2006
Location: Swine Town
Posts: 2330

United Kingdom 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 3

Chalk me up for 5 points 'Dave' Smile

Edit :
Oh, and shouldn't there be a 100 points dare that requires orbs of pure tungsten?
1. Ask on a forum if it's possible to remove the speed limiter for a D3.

( Duck Run, Forrest! Run! Duck )
 Dr. Ian Malcolm:
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."
Transgenic tomato anyone? 
 
Post #3539543rd Oct 2008 11:35 am
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nobbyclark
 


Member Since: 03 May 2005
Location: Perth, Scotland
Posts: 1268


Working from home today, so could easily rack up a high score, especially with the "flies open" event...
 No longer a D3 owner but still subscribed to multiple threads!  
Post #3540083rd Oct 2008 1:17 pm
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ashlr2004
 


Member Since: 27 Aug 2008
Location: Nelson, Lancashire
Posts: 166

United Kingdom 

Already done most of these at one point of my working life Embarassed Whistle
 If it ain't got 4 wheels, Don't Bother.

 
 
Post #3543613rd Oct 2008 7:42 pm
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