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A fable for the fuel protesters ...
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Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 9633

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4
A fable for the fuel protesters ...

One crisp winter morning in Sweden, a cute little girl named Greta woke up to a perfect world, one where there were no petroleum products ruining the earth. She tossed aside her cotton sheet and wool blanket and stepped out onto a dirt floor covered with willow bark that had been pulverized with rocks. “What’s this?” she asked

“Pulverized willow bark,” replied her fairy godmother.

“What happened to the carpet?” she asked.

“The carpet was nylon, which is made from butadiene and hydrogen cyanide, both made from petroleum,” came the response.

Greta smiled, acknowledging that adjustments are necessary to save the planet, and moved to the sink to brush her teeth where instead of a toothbrush, she found a willow, mangled on one end to expose wood fibre bristles.

“Your old toothbrush?” noted her godmother, “Also nylon.”

“Where’s the water?” asked Greta.

“Down the road in the canal,” replied her godmother, ‘Just make sure you avoid water with cholera in it”

“Why’s there no running water?” Greta asked, becoming a little peevish.

“Well,” said her godmother, who happened to teach engineering at MIT, “Where do we begin?” There followed a long monologue about how sink valves need elastomer seats and how copper pipes contain copper, which has to be mined and how it’s impossible to make all-electric earth-moving equipment with no gear lubrication or tires and how ore has to be smelted to a make metal, and that’s tough to do with only electricity as a source of heat, and even if you use only electricity, the wires need insulation, which is petroleum-based, and though most of Sweden’s energy is produced in an environmentally friendly way because of hydro and nuclear, if you do a mass and energy balance around the whole system, you still need lots of petroleum products like lubricants and nylon and rubber for tires and asphalt for filling potholes and wax and iPhone plastic and elastic to hold your underwear up while operating a copper smelting furnace and . . .

“What’s for breakfast?” interjected Greta, whose head was hurting.

"Fresh, range-fed chicken eggs,” replied her godmother. “Raw.”

“How so, raw?” inquired Greta.

“Well, . . .” And once again, Greta was told about the need for petroleum products like transformer oil and scores of petroleum products essential for producing metals for frying pans and in the end was educated about how you can’t have a petroleum-free world and then cook eggs. Unless you rip your front fence up and start a fire and carefully cook your egg in an orange peel like you do in Boy Scouts. Not that you can find oranges in Sweden anymore.

“But I want poached eggs like my Aunt Tilda makes,” lamented Greta.

“Tilda died this morning,” the godmother explained. “Bacterial pneumonia.”

“What?!” interjected Greta. “No one dies of bacterial pneumonia! We have penicillin.”

“Not anymore,” explained godmother “The production of penicillin requires chemical extraction using isobutyl acetate, which, if you know your organic chemistry, is petroleum-based. Lots of people are dying, which is problematic because there’s not any easy way of disposing of the bodies since backhoes need hydraulic oil and crematoriums can’t really burn many bodies using as fuel Swedish fences and furniture, which are rapidly disappearing - being used on the black market for roasting eggs and staying warm.”

This represents only a fraction of Greta’s day, a day without microphones to exclaim into and a day without much food, and a day without carbon-fibre boats to sail in, but a day that will save the planet.

Tune in tomorrow when Greta needs a root canal and learns how Novocain is synthesized.
Post #228851819th Apr 2022 10:17 am
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Member Since: 01 Jan 2021
Location: Dunno i was just following the satnav😳
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Ukraine 2007 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Cairns BlueDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter Rolling with laughter
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2004 Defender td5 gone
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Post #228852219th Apr 2022 11:07 am
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Member Since: 30 Jan 2019
Location: Clanfield, Hampshire
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United Kingdom 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Vienna GreenDiscovery 3

Brilliant and shared with my preachy aunt. Smile.

Inspired me to find this nice presentation from the FT

Didn’t see anything in there about all the plastics used aswell though.

Post #228852619th Apr 2022 12:44 pm
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Member Since: 31 Dec 2005
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United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 Landmark LE Auto Santorini BlackDiscovery 4

Amnesty International have issued stark warnings about EV production and the rise in child labour. Sad
 2006 D3 HSE (Original & still the best)-GONE
2010 D4 HSE (A bit bling)-GONE
2014 D4 HSE (Almost too bling)-GONE
2015 D4 HSE (A heated what?)-GONE
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Post #228853219th Apr 2022 2:00 pm
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Member Since: 21 Mar 2016
Location: South Wales
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Wales 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 GS Auto Santorini BlackDiscovery 4

And I wonder why these fuel protesters glue their hands to the floor using a chemical glue, drive to protests using cars that need fuel and stop traffic that’s built up in a big cue causing more fuel shortages and damage to the atmosphere.

Nutters all of them.
Why wait, just go for it and enjoy life.

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Range Rover Vogue

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Post #228854219th Apr 2022 3:18 pm
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