SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
  
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A man was coming home from work one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt.
He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked him what was wrong. The cop said, "We are in a crisis situation. Gordon Brown is in the road very upset. He does not have the £10 billion needed to fill his black hole, and everyone hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in petrol and start a fire."
The man asked the police officer exactly what he was doing there.
The bobby said, " I feel sorry for the Chancellor so I am going car to car asking for donations."
The man asked, "How much do you have so far?"
The bobby replied, "Well as of right now only 99 litres, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"
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An Old priest lay dying in hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of London. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" she said.
"I would really like to see Tony Blair and Gordon Brown before I die," whispered the preist
"I'll see what I can do, Father," said the nurse. The nurse sent the request to the House of Commons and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived that Tony and Gordon would be delighted to meet the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Gordon commented to Tony: "I don't know why the old priest would want to meet us, but it certainly might help our images and even get me elected for Prime Minister for another term. Tony agreed that it was a very good especially if they got press coverage.
When they arrived at the hospital bed the old priest took Gordan's hand in his right hand and Tony's Hand in his left.
There was a silence and the look of serenity on the priest face.
Finally Gordon spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen why choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The Old preist replied slowly: "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Gordon.
"Amen" said Tony.
The old priest continued: "He died between two lying b  ds . I would like to do the same."
******************************************************************************************************** I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
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 25th Nov 2009 1:56 pm |
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LR3Trav
Member Since: 09 Nov 2009
Location: Chula Vista, CA
Posts: 150
  
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 "Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."
Ayn Rand
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| 25th Nov 2009 3:29 pm |
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nobbyclark
Member Since: 03 May 2005
Location: Perth, Scotland
Posts: 1268
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Did you hear the one about Gordon Brown becoming Prime Minister?
What do you mean, that's not funny? No longer a D3 owner but still subscribed to multiple threads!
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| 26th Nov 2009 12:10 pm |
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kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
  
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Royal Mail created a stamp with a picture of the
Prime Minister of Great Britain ... Gordon Brown
The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and spending of £1.1million, a
special commission presented the following findings:
1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
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| 5th Dec 2009 1:14 pm |
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