AVE
D3 Decade
Member Since: 13 Nov 2006
Location: First house on the left
Posts: 3097
  
|
| To maintain a healthy level of insanity |
|
Don't know if these have been posted before.....
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
5. In the memo field of all your cheques, write ' For Marijuana'
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go'.
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.
11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS. As you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
Last edited by AVE on 23rd Jan 2009 6:25 pm. Edited 2 times in total
|
 23rd Jan 2009 6:16 pm |
|
|
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
  
|
Very Good  
|
| 23rd Jan 2009 6:20 pm |
|
|
Heyloft
Member Since: 02 Apr 2006
Location: Derbyshire
Posts: 297
|
No2 is my favorite  Wot's that in Old Money
Fuji White D4 HSE-LUX
rear entertainment
TV
TPMS
Park Heater
Centre Console cooler box
|
| 23rd Jan 2009 6:53 pm |
|
|
kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
 
|
No 11 and 13 for me  Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
|
| 23rd Jan 2009 8:13 pm |
|
|
heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
 
|
|
| 23rd Jan 2009 8:43 pm |
|
|
NHR
Member Since: 13 Dec 2007
Location: Warsaw
Posts: 923
|
Very good. 
|
| 26th Jan 2009 11:26 am |
|
|
