There's often been talk on this site about the persuasions of a few key members.........
Here is a simple test for anyone who is unsure
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.
2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or pee in a car park, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, then you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-arsed driver or to cut them up. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold beer or make hand gestures.The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
19th Jan 2009 2:39 pm
Willy Eckerslike
Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
Quote:
tune a meat whistle.
Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
D3 Gone but not forgotten
Club Men of Oak
Club Walnut sniffers
D4 Van owner
Ents long lost Uncle
19th Jan 2009 2:52 pm
heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
19th Jan 2009 3:26 pm
tanters
Member Since: 24 Oct 2007
Location: Oireland
Posts: 4284
A happy childhood ... is the worst possible preparation for life.
19th Jan 2009 3:53 pm
NHR
Member Since: 13 Dec 2007
Location: Warsaw
Posts: 923
Whoops 2 cats, Kevin & Muzz (short for Murray).
And I know wool.
Had a good laugh though. Did you think I would leave you crying,
When there's room in my D3 for 7,
Climb in here Joe we'll soon be flying,
I can go just as fast with 7.
2005 TDV6 S with Terrain Response (& all that entails), Tasmods (gorn). 2008 TDV6 HSE (gone). A Dark Side umbrella (here) & car (here).
The older I get, the more I realise that people confuse wrinkles for wisdom
Founder member of Club FFRRV
Club Orange, Mint or Fruit
Club Walnut Sniffers
Thats my cousins that live down near TDMP Did you think I would leave you crying,
When there's room in my D3 for 7,
Climb in here Joe we'll soon be flying,
I can go just as fast with 7.
2005 TDV6 S with Terrain Response (& all that entails), Tasmods (gorn). 2008 TDV6 HSE (gone). A Dark Side umbrella (here) & car (here).
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
19th Jan 2009 6:03 pm
BORDER ROVER
Member Since: 03 Dec 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 1105
POT NOODLE NAVIGATION CHALLENGE 2010 WINNER
Club Sankey
Club pie and peas
19th Jan 2009 7:07 pm
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
19th Jan 2009 7:24 pm
kevi
Member Since: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 945
drink regular coffee , but got a cat called sid Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
2 Too many seats now
No trouble so far
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
19th Jan 2009 7:59 pm
heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
Very un pc - let's see if it survives the mods
MAN TEST
1. If you are over38, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot.
2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as camp as a row of tents. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too.
6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colours or four different types of dessert o ther than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you knowwhat a 'fressier' is& nbsp; you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are poofter.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to beep at a slow-arsed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being an puncher.
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over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're pitched, you're so queer.
drink regular coffee , but got a cat called sid 
