Hobgoblin
Member Since: 15 Nov 2007
Location: As always, in the sh*t, it's only the depth that varies
Posts: 1445
  
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| Paddy declares war on France |
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The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at
the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we
are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?'
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me
Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from
the pub. That makes eleven!'
Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army
waiting to move on my command.'
'Begoora!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still
on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Sarkozy sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and
5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000
since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
'Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of
heart?'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and
packets of crisps, and we decided there is no fookin' way we can feed
200,000 prisoners .' I'm not as good as I once was........but I'm as good once as I ever was.
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 5th Nov 2008 1:56 pm |
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flinty99
Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558
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Very funny. 
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| 5th Nov 2008 2:26 pm |
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TSR2
Member Since: 22 Jul 2008
Location: North Lincolnshire
Posts: 1104
  
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You've got to admire the Irish for their honesty!!
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| 5th Nov 2008 2:43 pm |
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NHR
Member Since: 13 Dec 2007
Location: Warsaw
Posts: 923
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Very good!
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| 5th Nov 2008 2:54 pm |
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jm105845
Member Since: 21 Aug 2007
Location: dublin
Posts: 271
  
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us over this side of the water love the french especially mrs president
correct me if i am wrong but did ye all not save them after the 2nd world
war and you all still hate each other
i think all can be sorted in a nice warm pub over a few pints
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| 5th Nov 2008 4:45 pm |
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TSR2
Member Since: 22 Jul 2008
Location: North Lincolnshire
Posts: 1104
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Quote:i think all can be sorted in a nice warm pub over a few pints.
Don't forget a few bottles of wine as well, or is that taking it too far.... 
Trev.
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| 5th Nov 2008 5:49 pm |
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BORDER ROVER
Member Since: 03 Dec 2007
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 1105
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 POT NOODLE NAVIGATION CHALLENGE 2010 WINNER
Club Sankey
Club pie and peas
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| 5th Nov 2008 5:50 pm |
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Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
 
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Very good D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
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| 6th Nov 2008 10:17 am |
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Discoeast
Member Since: 19 Feb 2008
Location: Boksburg
Posts: 800
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Very good D3 bullbar-spots-roof rack with spots-ladder-long range tank-swing out spare wheel carrier- upgraded tow bar-dash console-internal water tank-duel awnings-drawer system & T T.
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| 6th Nov 2008 10:25 am |
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Gurvan
Member Since: 02 Jan 2005
Location: Germany... Not far from both the US and Hard German rock...
Posts: 1089
 
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Not too bad...
The sad fact is that I heard nearly the same one with the Russians and the Chinese. Nice try anyway !  Georgia On My Mind...
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| 6th Nov 2008 9:01 pm |
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