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These should put a smile on your dial !
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nigethecat
 


Member Since: 11 Sep 2016
Location: Marnoch
Posts: 4186

Ukraine 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Commercial XS Auto Corris GreyDiscovery 4

The original version

 I want to see the sweets before I get into your windowless van... I'm not stupid!

Corris Grey D4 Commercial SE 2016
Zermatt Sliver 2007 D3 SE manual (gone)
Indus Silver D4 HSE 2015 (gone)
Bonatti Grey D3 HSE 2006 (gone)
White D3 S (LHD) 2007 (gone)
Firenze Red D4 HSE 2014 (gone)
Black RRS 3.6TDV8 2008 (gone)
Rusty Green Defender 110 1997 (gone)
Black FL2 HSE 2013 (gone) 
 
Post #23706567th Jun 2024 12:57 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10598

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4
Pride Month

I think I’ve misunderstood the whole pride month thing…

Anyone want to buy half a dozen lions?
  
Post #237126417th Jun 2024 9:38 am
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12827

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

https://youtube.com/watch/CfbDJuyUnG4

or

https://youtube.com/shorts/CfbDJuyUnG4?feature=share


edit : can anyone see video via either link ? not appearing as a video on forum when i look Sad
 

Last edited by Hardware on 24th Jun 2024 9:51 am. Edited 1 time in total 
Post #237133517th Jun 2024 9:49 pm
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waterbuoy
 


Member Since: 26 Oct 2013
Location: Argyll
Posts: 2881

United Kingdom 2009 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 3

Both links work for me - assuming it is dogs with light sabres?
 Currently 2009 Disco 3 SE, 2013 MY D4 HSE and 2016 D4 SE
Previously:
TD5 Defender 110 CSW (230k miles)
300TDi Disco 1 (289k)
4 RR Classics (300-350k each, 2 manual, 2 auto)
110 V8 CSW (220k)
S3 109 hi cap pickup (ex RN)
S2A 88 Safari SW with lpg conversion (bloody lethal) 
 
Post #237133917th Jun 2024 10:04 pm
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Rescue01
 


Member Since: 14 Jan 2008
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 2459

Scotland 2008 Discovery 3 TDV6 XS Manual Buckingham BlueDiscovery 3

Both links take you to YT to the video.Its probably something to do with the forum security update?
 Its not the height of the fall but the sudden stop at the bottom that hurts!!  
Post #237134117th Jun 2024 10:05 pm
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Martin
Site Admin and Owner 


Member Since: 06 Nov 2004
Location: Hook Norton
Posts: 18506

United Kingdom 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Manual Buckingham BlueDiscovery 3

YT 'shorts' don't embed
 06 D3 SE / 15 LR D90 XS SW / 88 LR 90 Td5 / 68 BMW 2000 ti
Any issues with the site let me know! 
 
Post #237134317th Jun 2024 10:27 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12827

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,

"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk" !!
Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too,"
Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that,"

Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"

Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus,"

Says the barman.

"The circus?"

Repeats the duck.

"That's right,"

Replies the barman.

"The circus?"

The duck asks again.

with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says

"What the hell would they want with a plasterer" ???
  
Post #237176824th Jun 2024 8:39 am
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gstuart
 


Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 13847

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

🤣🤣



Click image to enlarge
   
Post #237177024th Jun 2024 9:17 am
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10598

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

MY VERSION OF FACEBOOK …..

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what did the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them “thumbs up” and tell them I “like” them.

And it works just like Facebook. I already have four people following me:

Two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
  
Post #237189726th Jun 2024 11:38 am
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ruben
D3 Decade 


Member Since: 26 Sep 2006
Location: ASTURIAS
Posts: 2410

2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Manual Tonga GreenDiscovery 3

Laughing
 lost in translation!
DISCOVERY 3 SE man. TDV6 2006, my true love!
DEFENDER 2 SE D I6 MHEV 2024, other live. 
 
Post #237190426th Jun 2024 1:13 pm
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gstuart
 


Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 13847

United Kingdom 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Java BlackDiscovery 3

🤣🤣
   
Post #237194627th Jun 2024 1:49 am
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DSL
Keeper of the wheelie bin 


Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72901

Ukraine 

Hardware wrote:
A duck walks into a pub ……


Laughing Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up
   
Post #237194727th Jun 2024 3:13 am
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12827

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

Two prawns were swimming around in the sea one day. The first one was called Justin and the second one was called Kristian.
They were continually being chased and threatened by the sharks that inhabited the area.

Eventually Justin had had enough. He said to Kristian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten all the time."

As he said this, a large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted!"

And believe it or not, with that Justin turned into a fearsome shark.

Kristian was horrified and so immediately swam away as he was scared of being eaten by his old friend.

As time went by, Justin found his new life as a shark to be boring and lonely. None of his old friends would let him get near them as they thought he would eat them and so they just swam away whenever he approached.

It took a while, but eventually Justin realized that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

Then one day he was swimming all alone as usual when he saw the mysterious cod again. He thought it'd be better if he could go back to his old life so he swam to the cod and begged to be changed back. The cod worked his magic and suddenly Justin was a prawn once more.

With tears of joy streaming down his cheeks Justin swam straight to Kristian's home.

As he opened the coral gate, the happy memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "Kristian, it's me, Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me again."

Kristian replied, "No way! You're a shark now and you'll just eat me. I'm not being tricked into being your dinner."

Justin shouted back "No, I'm not a shark any more. That was the old me. I've changed...

I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Kristian." 😁😁
 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #23722141st Jul 2024 10:59 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12827

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience..

Seeing God she asked : "Is my time up ?"

God said : “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth !

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was discharged from the hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded :
"God, you said I had another 33 years to live ? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the Ambulance ?"

God replied :

"I didn't recognize you.......... !!!!!"

😂😂
 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #23722161st Jul 2024 11:19 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10598

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4
2 Tickets for the Euos Final

This may be of interest to someone. Thumbs Up

A friend of mine has 2 tickets for the euros final on Sunday He paid £300 each but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding!

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place.

It's at Portsmouth Registry Office, at 4pm. The bride's name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook. 😂😂😂
  
Post #237297211th Jul 2024 8:47 am
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