NJF
Member Since: 05 Oct 2007
Location: Gone
Posts: 2466
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The women's anthropological society of Luxembourg has studied the sexes' bathroom habits and would like to offer you some guidance on best practice in matters of personal hygiene (in other words, SWMBO has been using my e-mail account again, and I found this in my inbox):
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
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 13th Jan 2009 11:08 pm |
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10forcash
Member Since: 09 Jun 2005
Location: Ubique
Posts: 16534
  
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I didn't know google earth could do live video feeds from my bathroom 
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| 14th Jan 2009 12:30 am |
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DG
Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50934
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NJF wrote:
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Wow ...they must have significantly improved the 'zoom' on Google Earth eh TFC 
 21 year LR veteran > D2 GS 2003 > D3 S 2006 > D3 HSE 2009 > D4 HSE 2013 > D4 HSE 2015 > D5 HSE 2018 > DS HSE R-Dynamic P300e 2021
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| 14th Jan 2009 1:27 am |
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cdodkin
Member Since: 18 Aug 2008
Location: Ex Pat Brit in California
Posts: 700
  
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you owe me a new laptop!
my old one us now full of freshly exhaled merlot 
08 LR3 SE V8 - 02 D2 SE7 V8
Porsche 911 (03 996) - 2013 MINI Cooper S
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| 14th Jan 2009 6:26 am |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
 
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This one got a definite
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| 14th Jan 2009 8:20 am |
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simon
Member Since: 11 Jan 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 18296
 
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DG wrote:NJF wrote:
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Wow ...they must have significantly improved the 'zoom' on Google Earth eh TFC
Its amazing how nano technology has progressed.
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| 14th Jan 2009 12:36 pm |
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