Member Since: 16 Aug 2008
Location: Ayr
Posts: 619
Sunday night humour
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St
Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload
of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam
for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist
of?'
'Just three questions' said St Peter.
'Which are?' asked the blonde.
'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start
with the
letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and
when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for
me.'
So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some
considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if
she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with
the letter T?'
The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed
the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'
'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that
figure?'
'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second
of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total
of twelve
seconds.'
St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider
your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away
shaking his
head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the
answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question
absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me
the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest
to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any
longer, and
turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at
THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his
billy boiled.'
. . .and the blonde entered into Heaven...... ....If in doubt............flat out.
Buck blue with mantec, abar, roolights and some of uncle rays finest
club blanked egr's
dark silver mini cooper s
I though it was v funny, tried it on my daughter, got to the punch line and had a blank look - she has never actually heard Waltzing Matilda
"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you read is not what I meant"
Member Since: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Watford, Herts.
Posts: 707
Quote:
I don't get it! Big Cry
WTF is Waltzing Matilda?
One day Mav, when you get a little older your general knoledge will (I hope) improve. Until then its fun watching you flounder TDV6 HSE - Light Guards - White Reflective Sticker
Club--Engel
Club--Satnav on the move (Thanks Pete)
Club--Kumho KL71 (265/70 17) they kick!
Club--Three Musketeers
Club--GNVP Sump Guard (The nuts)
Disco3Club
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
6th Oct 2008 10:42 pm
simon
Member Since: 11 Jan 2005
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 18296
Maverick wrote:
I noticed!
Well at least you can read If not understand eh ??
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Oh.... I was going to say it's your native language but it's not 
