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How to get to Heaven from Scotland
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Sloss
 


Member Since: 18 Aug 2013
Location: Aberdeenish
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Scotland 
How to get to Heaven from Scotland

How to get to Heaven from Scotland

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 'No!'

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted,



"Yuv got tae be fukin’ deed.”
 Stew,

2010 D4 gone but I really loved it
Went back to Merc - C350 AMG 
 
Post #185759014th Sep 2017 6:45 pm
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Downsman
 


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Post #185759614th Sep 2017 7:04 pm
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ronp
 


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DSL
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comedyharvey
 


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Brian_DL13
 


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Post #185765214th Sep 2017 8:28 pm
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RLD
Uncle Ray 


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Alan B
 


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Post #185768314th Sep 2017 9:34 pm
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Hairy Dan
 


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Waylander11
 


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