I am not a huge fan of spiders and although not terrified of them, I would prefer not to have them around!!
I was sitting on the bog yesterday having a rather satisfying dump when this huge friggin' spider ran across the floor and onto my bare foot. Immediate reaction was to flick my foot to remove it, which of course deposited it into my pants that where around my ankles. This was now putting me into a little bit of a panic and I jumped up trying to remove my spider infested pants without hurling any Klingons around the bathroom........
Common sense had been replaced by a primal instinct to get this spider away from me and my clothing. Fortunately before I ended up in a tangled heap on the floor the spider made a dash for freedom and I managed to squash it with a handy can of shaving foam......... 8)
Today I was sitting downstairs having my morning mug of Tea, contemplating what to do on this rare day off. Now I know this is not an image you want to have lodged in your visual cortex, but I am just in my undies sprawled like an old Porn Star on the settee. Slight tickle on my ball sack, so a manly scratch is called for, that's funny the tickle has moved to the area between my thigh and left b ck?? I looked down and there was this huge wood spider crawling out the leg of my undies......f k me I nearly had a heart attack.
I jumped up trying to squash the huge monster which was a huge mistake........whacking yourself in the nuts to kill a spider was not a great choice of available options!!
The thing fell onto the floor and I stamped on the f ker with my bare foot......a very satisfying crunch ended it's miserable existence.........!!
This is now getting far too personal and up close with spiders in my house! ------------------------------
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Huge Permagrin
Member Since: 31 Aug 2015
Location: Essex
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I'm not keen on them either- I blame my Mum, she is terrified - we have had some whoppers in the house in recent weeks... luckily none in the bathroom MY2012 D4 HSE Nara Bronze with some extra stuff
22nd Sep 2017 3:16 pm
rrhool
Member Since: 28 Aug 2014
Location: Norfolk
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Just spat my tea out on the computer! Richard
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it's that time of year when they're looking for somewhere to hole up for the winter. ( took 3 days to get one out our cereal cupboard. it's now somewhere in the lounge going off direction it ran in. )
given their aim in life and the affection they are showing you, suggest long trousers and bicycle clips should be on your urgent shopping list.
22nd Sep 2017 3:32 pm
astonbuilder
Member Since: 29 Sep 2006
Location: MIDLANDS
Posts: 8052
You need some 95RON and a box of matches.
Or move house.......
22nd Sep 2017 3:32 pm
rrhool
Member Since: 28 Aug 2014
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 4400
SWMBO fould this one in the lounge the other day, climbing the skirting!
Richard
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22nd Sep 2017 3:36 pm
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Fret ye not, I have a solution...
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Climbing the skirting ? It looks like its removing it The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the best of everything they have.
22nd Sep 2017 3:42 pm
Iguana
Member Since: 14 Oct 2013
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Many years ago, I was doing a late shift at the police, when at about 10pm SWMBO called demanding that I come home and sort out a huge Spider in the lounge, luckily my oppo and I were only 5 mins away, so I made it back and found SWMBO and no1 son stood on the sofa screaming.
In the middle on the carpet was Mr Spider, huge bloody thing, even I had to think twice before scooping it up and depositing it outside
Not sure what neighbours thought with a police car pulling up outside with blue lights flashing
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22nd Sep 2017 3:53 pm
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22nd Sep 2017 3:57 pm
Narpy
Member Since: 18 Jul 2011
Location: Stockport
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WHOOSIES!!!!!
I never realised I'd been conversing with such a load of whoosies on here, man up you soft b*****ds.
On the other hand, anybody north of Birmingham has no excuse, those south of Birmingham are allowed to maintain their reputations. Mods:
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22nd Sep 2017 5:14 pm
gstuart
Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
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must mean i'm a whoose i am a southener after all
this crept up beside me whilst in the kitchen
22nd Sep 2017 5:19 pm
Andy Foster
Member Since: 27 Dec 2009
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 6551
Get some conkers and place them around the house at strategic points. Apparently they don't like the smell of them. Now I don't know if this has been proven scientifically but I collected some at the weekend and haven't seen any 8 legged freaks since.
If it's of any comfort the average house will contain around 300 spiders D4 MY15 SE TECH
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22nd Sep 2017 5:33 pm
adam
Member Since: 20 Sep 2005
Location: Home and Happy
Posts: 6917
The ones you mostly see this time of year are the male House Spiders looking for some action as the females (who stay mostly hidden) put out pheromones.
The real whoppers in house spiders in the UK are Cardinal Spiders - wait for - can grow up to about 12cm (female) in leg span.
Personally I've always liked spiders, find them quite interesting - I've got two Daddy Long Legs (the spider with the small body and massive legs, not the kids name for Crane Flies) that have been living in my utility room virtually all summer - decorating the room on Monday so I'll be re-housing them at weekend
22nd Sep 2017 5:35 pm
Mogwyth
Member Since: 03 Oct 2014
Location: Pwllheli
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Narpy wrote:
WHOOSIES!!!!!
I never realised I'd been conversing with such a load of whoosies on here, man up you soft b*****ds.
I used to keep tarantulas and bird eating spiders in the my bedroom, I often wondered why girls never came back a second time , either that or i was ..............==================================
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ck?? I looked down and there was this huge wood spider crawling out the leg of my undies......f 
