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A Muscovite walks into a newsagents
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NoDo$h
 


Member Since: 02 May 2006
Location: Finding new and exciting ways to milk badgers.
Posts: 19689

Ukraine 
A Muscovite walks into a newsagents

He buys a paper, then glances at the front page, turns aside and tosses the whole newspaper straight into the bin.

Next day, he turns up, and does the same thing. Buys it, glances at the front page, throws it in the bin.

Next day, same thing. The newsagent is increasingly puzzled, but doesn't say anything.

After a couple of weeks of this, he can't take it. "I'm sorry, friend, but I must ask: why do you buy the paper every day and then just look at the front page and throw it out?"

"Oh, I'm just checking for something."

"OK, but: what are you checking for?"

"I'm checking for an obituary."

"But sir, you don't even open the newspaper! The obituaries aren't even on the front page!"

"Oh, believe me, the one I'm waiting for will be."
 I know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.  
Post #22815632nd Mar 2022 2:11 pm
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bigdave
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Post #22815662nd Mar 2022 2:46 pm
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Famousfive
 


Member Since: 12 Aug 2014
Location: Southampton
Posts: 1806

Ukraine 2013 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 GS Auto Loire BlueDiscovery 4

Bow down Bow down
 Stolen - D4 Loire Blue
D4 Bali Blue 
 
Post #22815672nd Mar 2022 2:54 pm
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DSL
Keeper of the wheelie bin 


Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72775

Ukraine 

Laughing Laughing Thumbs Up
   
Post #22815782nd Mar 2022 3:59 pm
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Trailered Movements
 


Member Since: 16 Jan 2020
Location: East/West Sussex Coast Borders
Posts: 1198

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Commercial Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

I bet if everyone who not only found it very funny, but agreed, and said so by a post, we could be looking at the most posted post.


Dave
 2011 Discovery 4 Commercial SDV6 (Gone)
2010 RRS TDV8 (Gone)
1980 OBLIC 4.0ltr Range Rover (went a long time ago) 
 
Post #22815842nd Mar 2022 5:18 pm
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Iguana
 


Member Since: 14 Oct 2013
Location: 'Sunny' Zomerset
Posts: 9402

Ukraine 

Very funny like it Thumbs Up

And good to see some Ukrainian flags Cool
 Iggy/Ieuan

Current LR =
2015 RR Sport Autobiography
&
1992 Land Rover Defender Camper

- Gone but not forgotten:
MY10 D4 GS
MY05 Disco 3 'S'
MY14 FL2 HSE manual in Blue
MY15 Disco 4 HSE Lux in Santorini Black
MY08 Disco 3 SE manual in Buck Blue
1960 Series 2 88" (No idea why I sold it!) 
 
Post #22815912nd Mar 2022 5:48 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
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United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

Thumbs Up
 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #22816462nd Mar 2022 10:50 pm
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DN
D3 Decade 


Member Since: 24 Jun 2006
Location: W.London.
Posts: 2293

Ukraine 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 Base 7 Seat Auto Zambezi SilverDiscovery 3

Very good Laughing ……..That day, really can’t come soon enough. Thumbs Up
 D3 owned from new, P017 brake recall, BAS FBHIC, new FBH, LR013487 oil pump, new water pump. RRS front lower suspension arms. New suspension compressor/ relay. New Denso alternator. CuNifer rear brake pipes. New GKN rear propshaft. New HPFP belt & tensioner. New A/C Condenser.NO WARRANTY for many many years.  
Post #22816502nd Mar 2022 11:04 pm
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ruben
D3 Decade 


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😂🤣
 lost in translation!  
Post #22816532nd Mar 2022 11:38 pm
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V8man
 


Member Since: 01 Jan 2021
Location: Dunno i was just following the satnav😳
Posts: 288

Ukraine 2007 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Cairns BlueDiscovery 3

Rolling with laughter
 1996 Defender -died (now in landrover heaven😇)chassis to ashes , rust to dust !
2004 Defender td5 gone
2012 Evoque gone
2007 D3 V8 HSE 
 
Post #22817613rd Mar 2022 3:45 pm
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dantheman
 


Member Since: 12 Mar 2010
Location: Essex
Posts: 1722

England 2009 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 3

Must admit I keep longing for his name to come up on the "who's dead today" thread.
 Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.  
Post #22817623rd Mar 2022 4:38 pm
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DSL
Keeper of the wheelie bin 


Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 72775

Ukraine 

He might, just might, get his own thread. Thumbs Up
   
Post #22817633rd Mar 2022 4:41 pm
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gundogman
D3 Decade 


Member Since: 18 Apr 2012
Location: Geordie - exiled in Manchester
Posts: 536

England 2006 Discovery 3 TDV6 S Manual Java BlackDiscovery 3

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
 Original Owner.

Mods:
RRS modded grill- Narpy.
De tango'd lights- Beanie.
EGR's blanked -Flack
LED's allround.

282,000+ club (miles) 
 
Post #22818534th Mar 2022 11:34 am
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nigethecat
 


Member Since: 11 Sep 2016
Location: Marnoch
Posts: 4142

Ukraine 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Commercial XS Auto Corris GreyDiscovery 4

Putins war like nature is a apparently due to over production of testosterone from a third testicle, according to Russian reporter Hugh Janika Bolikov…
 I want to see the sweets before I get into your windowless van... I'm not stupid!

Corris Grey D4 Commercial SE 2016
Zermatt Sliver 2007 D3 SE manual (gone)
Indus Silver D4 HSE 2015 (gone)
Bonatti Grey D3 HSE 2006 (gone)
White D3 S (LHD) 2007 (gone)
Firenze Red D4 HSE 2014 (gone)
Black RRS 3.6TDV8 2008 (gone)
Rusty Green Defender 110 1997 (gone)
Black FL2 HSE 2013 (gone) 
 
Post #22818604th Mar 2022 12:59 pm
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