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Googsy
Joined: 06 Aug 2007
Location: Celbridge, Co Kildare.
Posts: 740
 
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, 'You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars' in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.' The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then the light dawns in his eye and he laughs. 'Oh, no,' he says, 'Everyone is fine. It's me......I've quit drinking!' Googsy
2005 HSE Zambezi Silver
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
Last edited by Googsy on Fri Aug 29 2008 1:13pm; edited 1 time in total
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 Fri Aug 29 2008 11:44am |
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MacLeod 313
Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Location: East Sussex
Posts: 1593
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 PERMANENTLY IN THE SITE NAUGHTY CORNER
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| Fri Aug 29 2008 11:48am |
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The Large One
Site Sponsor
Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Location: You may know but i'm not telling you
Posts: 1348
 
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 You want it for how much !!!!!
Handle every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or hump it, Pi$$ on it and walk away......
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| Fri Aug 29 2008 12:45pm |
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NHR
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Location: Warsaw
Posts: 848
 
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Brilliant!
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| Fri Aug 29 2008 12:55pm |
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ronp
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Location: over the edge!!
Posts: 4615
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And there's also this
Posted it before, but since it's Irish, reckon it should get aired again.
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night celebrating St Patrick's Day.
Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy"
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on His face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the
door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels
much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk.
He falls flat on his face.
"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and
shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the
stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a
step into the room and falls flat on his face.
He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
Coffee and says, ............"Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?".
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pished. But how'd you know?"
.............. ........ WAIT FOR IT!
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"Mick phoned, . . .. . .. You left your wheelchair at the pub." slowly re-building my gallery after the wipe out !!!!
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"The BEAST"
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| Fri Aug 29 2008 1:26pm |
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heine
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 2385
 
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| Fri Aug 29 2008 1:32pm |
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