BarryG
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Location: Eire
Posts: 1119
 
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How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it !
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.
Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men...
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested One Wife.. Kill it ..
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 Fri Sep 05 2008 11:10am |
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Discowex
Joined: 16 Apr 2007
Location: Craggy Island
Posts: 3718
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Welcome Back B Hold on a sec ....... I'll get my chisel out
100 % Wexican.
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 11:15am |
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disco3kenny
Joined: 19 Jan 2008
Location: 2 Dogs Fightin
Posts: 251
 
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Very good 
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 11:30am |
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ronp
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Location: over the edge!!
Posts: 4658
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Great stuff!
[So Mrs BarryG never checks out this site then???] slowly re-building my gallery after the wipe out !!!!
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"The BEAST"
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 11:38am |
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heine
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 2478
 
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What makes it so good is that it is all true
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 11:42am |
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shiny moose
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Location: In the middle somewhere
Posts: 1579
 
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Suburb Silver TDV6 S with sat nav, PTI and Moosed up a bit
"I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant"
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 12:07pm |
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RLD
Uncle Ray
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Location: lancs
Posts: 3418
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all very true is it me your looking for i am back now but for how long is anybody's guess
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 12:29pm |
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BarryG
Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Location: Eire
Posts: 1119
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ronp wrote:
Great stuff!
[So Mrs BarryG never checks out this site then???]
Ron her chain don't reach as far as the Mac.. One Wife.. Kill it ..
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 12:36pm |
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ronp
Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Location: over the edge!!
Posts: 4658
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It all goes to endorse my philosophy on women ....
nice people .... wrong planet!!! slowly re-building my gallery after the wipe out !!!!
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"The BEAST"
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 1:57pm |
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DSL
Joined: 11 May 2006
Location: In the Dog House!
Posts: 10219
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I can only type this as SWMBO is out shopping!!!  Honda Dog U better DUCK!!!!!
and Honda Dog supports
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 2:01pm |
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heine
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 2478
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ronp wrote:It all goes to endorse my philosophy on women ....
nice people .... wrong planet!!!
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 2:45pm |
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kevi
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Location: in the rhondda valleys
Posts: 289
 
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A blonde gets a job as a teacher.
She notices a boy in the field standing alone,
while all the other kids are running around having fun.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know.' she says.
'It's best I stay here.' he says.
''Why?' says the blonde.
The boys says:
'Because I am the  goalie' TDV6 5 SEAT BASE NO GIMMICKS NO FUSS
tow pack, tasmods sills
IT goes without sayingthat you should never have more children than you have car windows
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 3:34pm |
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NHR
Joined: 13 Dec 2007
Location: Warsaw
Posts: 856
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 3:35pm |
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heine
Joined: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 2478
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| Fri Sep 05 2008 4:07pm |
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