SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
  
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Possibly posted before, but they made me laugh again so worth sharing 
1 ) I told SWMBO that when she dies I am giving her body to science.
With this recession I can save a few quid on the funeral.
2 ) Poundstretchers and M&S are to amalgamate to beat the credit crunch.
They will be called Stretchmarks !
3 ) My girlfriend did a 24-hour charity hairdressing marathon.
By the end she was completely lacquered.
4 ) I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'
5 ) How are men like UFOs?
You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.
6 ) What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Three penguins rolling down a hill.
7 ) I went in to a pet shop and said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
8 ) I walked in B&Q yesterday and an old boy in overalls asked me if I wanted decking.
I got in first and knocked him out, so be careful.
9 ) What's a cannibals favourite game?
Swallow the leader!
10 ) Printed on the finest crisp white writing paper, using the best ink, lovingly folded and wrapped in an immaculate envelope.
This is no ordinary P45. This is an M&S P45.
I think 2, 8 and 10 are the best
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 27th Jan 2009 6:36 pm |
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