Member Since: 12 Jan 2009
Location: N Yorks
Posts: 1612
Vaseline
Vaseline
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day;
he comes across a Harley with a 'For Sale ' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 Years old.
It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and
asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever
the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have
to tell you something about my family before we go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says
anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a Huge
stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes
Piled up on the
stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner
progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches
over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes
off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of
her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid,
And her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs
the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every
which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious
and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, 'All right,
that's enough, I'll do the f***ing dishes!'
Pete Club Pie n Pea
One life....Fish it
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Ents long lost Uncle
26th Feb 2009 7:15 pm
GLYNNE
Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
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Member Since: 13 Sep 2007
Location: Watford, Herts.
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26th Feb 2009 7:47 pm
SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 -
26th Feb 2009 9:26 pm
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