Member Since: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Chelmsford, Essex
Posts: 1590
Council job.
A guy goes to the Council to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. You can start tomorrow at 10 a.m., and plan on starting at 10 a.m. every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m., why don't you want me here until 10 a.m.?"
"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.Stu
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2nd Aug 2017 2:40 pm
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Hairy Dan
Member Since: 19 Jan 2011
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Cheers Ian
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2nd Aug 2017 10:40 pm
dantheman
Member Since: 12 Mar 2010
Location: Essex
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Very good stu pot. Cheered me up Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.
2nd Aug 2017 11:14 pm
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
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2nd Aug 2017 11:20 pm
Geoff at Drym
Member Since: 18 May 2015
Location: Cornwall
Posts: 584
Seems a pretty accurate description of government workers!!
Then, of course, there's the mid morning coffee break, then 2 hours for lunch, then the afternoon tea break, plus a couple of additional coffee breaks in between.
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3rd Aug 2017 10:51 am
Quagmire
Member Since: 27 Jan 2008
Location: Surrey
Posts: 143
After many years in the corporate world running my own business, I semi retired and got bored! So my wife found me an `easy` job in a London Council.
This is 100% accurate except that its not 8am - 4pm, its 9am - 4.30!!
I needed therapy after the first six months. Its a totally different world
Rate payers money ehh. Giggity - Giggity
3rd Aug 2017 11:21 am
john watson
Member Since: 10 Nov 2011
Location: lanark
Posts: 957
Daughter needed a tree taken down in the back garden. One man - one day to cut down and half a day to clean up. Similar size tree in council park opposite needed to be taken down. What a pantomime. 10 "council workers" three weekends and the job still not done. Local odd job man turns up after the remains of the tree had lain for three months " anyone object if I cut the tree up and remove it for logs" 2 hours later all evidence of a tree ever having been there removed. As regards the resurfacing of the road don't get me started. It seems councils needs three times the number of employees to get any job done than the private sector needs. As regards the council ar$e next door he has more days of than Santa Clause. But they are so had worked we should all feel sorry for them. Go down to your local recycling centre and see the reaction of the operatives there. They would see an 80 year old get a strangulated hernia unloading run of the mill rubbish before they help but if it were lead,copper or something they could sell they would be in there like a shot. Big changes in local authority culture needed methinks.Once you have defeated the idiots any job is half done. Pity there are so many idiots to defeat.
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